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“Life allows us to make a lot of mistakes, except the mistake that destroys us”. Paulo Coelho

Plenty of them together destroyed me time and again. Lets see how many I can  realize:

  1. Moved from where I should have stayed, stayed at where I should have moved from.
  2. Ignored the signs, the divine interventions.
  3. When you ignore and disregard basic rules of something…anything, you become completely clueless. right and wrong lose their identity.
  4. Concentration on the wrong issues.
  5. Couldn’t close down an argument, kept them open forever.
  6. Couldn’t make sane understanding about disputes.
  7. I didn’t really work on the relationship. I just wished it will always be.
  8. Was only emotional about it. Never used my head. Like sleep walked for 4 years.
  9. We only had an emotional bond, we never worked on a working relationship. hence it didn’t work out, and hurt remained.
  10. I pushed him away. Instead of attracting, I was repelling.
  11. I couldn’t conquer my insecurities. And augmented his insecurities.
  12. I was a strong woman for him to handle. I ignored to bow down. Men in general, like to rule. For a male ego its important to have an upper hand.
  13. I thought or believed, love conquers all. I was wrong. love  just, is not enough.
  14. I misread, misunderstood when things were there as them not being there, and when they were not there, I could see them there.

Going over all these things give me strength that I am now awake to a whole new world. I see and acknowledge things that I was unaware of, completely oblivious about before. What I couldn’t see being in the relationship, I could see once I was out of it.

What all there is left for me is to regret and repent. Or maybe accept that

I learned a lot more about men in general, in specific, and even about myself.

I also learned that in relationships, It takes a man to initiate it, build it but it only is for a woman to keep it and maintain it.

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