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It is a very debatable subject but has a very thought provoking idea behind it… Lately, I have been observing and researching on couples. My first observation which is turning out to be a belief is that a husband and wife are made of  the same.  They give a true picture of being ‘meant to be for each other’.They either are the same, or over time, become like each other… so much so, that after a while you, being a third person would not know who acquired which trait from whom? Even given the scenario that you know both very well, from before, individually.
This observation leads to one possible conclusion; people lose their individuality and personal growth when they are married or in a very deeply committed relationship. For the love of their spouse, they stop being themselves, they forget themselves and merge in with them becoming this messy glob which fails to distinguish one from another.
Is this a good thing? Is it necessary to be in a successful married relationship to give up personal space, growth and privacy?
I am all for the major adjustments that are pre-requirements to commit to something serious since its for the life time (hopefully) and another person’s life is at stake not to forget your own, but what if you feel that you have ceased to grow and there is this choking stagnation in your life which you can even feel as a lump in your throat…
Maybe, a successful relationship can’t be one in which the completion of your being can be attained but one in which you keep thriving.
For instance, If a couple is in a relationship for many years and they still behave the same way, talk about the same stuff, do the same things, and  just be in the same surroundings/ gatherings / social circles, then they will not experience so much more that life offers to everyone.
Please, I may be sounding like an advocate of open marriage but don’t get me wrong here, my point is only about human growth in terms of one person being a complete individual in his/herself.
As a child I learned my mother tongue. I grew up and went to school,I learned official language. As I passed high school I learned one regional language.. I went for vacations, I got familiar with other regional languages… I graduated after learning yet another foreign language.
Now, I am trying to master it by being able to fluently speak it without hesitation. Then there will be some other language, some other form of art, scripting or learn a musical instrument… Visit somewhere I have never been before, eat something I never ate before, live in totally different culture learn about their norms etc… But I won’t be doing all this to kill boredom (only hehe) but to enrich myself.
But if I’d be with someone, I’d have to ask for permission, be answerable etc etc… which quite frankly is okay with me… what I don’t understand is the never ending insecurities about your significant other that I observed in many couples.
Well, all I hope for me is to find someone who is like minded… to whom this concept won’t be completely foreign, instead he’d enjoy it all the same . 🙂
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