Lots of people have lots of ways to tackle with their own problems and issues… some make charts, some talk to friends, confide in parents/siblings…. I, write… I write my very well crafted thoughts as well as jumbled up, tangled thoughts. and if I don’t, I feel lost.

An emotional person like me, no no… An extremely emotional person like me needs an outlet, someone who needs to express a lot and often is misunderstood…. MISUNDERSTOOD! is the word.

Since I am sworn to secrecy to myself, and can’t really mention someone,  “can’t blow my cover”, I was telling somebody how much my dad loved and cared for me, yes, parents love you in “their” way just like you will love yours. remembering what they did for you in good words is like paying tribute to them that yes, we have not forgotten you… they deserve it!

I got up today thinking I should heal every heart I care for so karma works for me. I need prayers right now more than ever because I don’t want anything to go wrong.

And my only sister has been cross with me for sometime and I was thinking, how can I make her happy? Since I am going through a period of literally “living my dream”, I want everyone to be happy!!! Like I am!

I am dreaming the sweetest dreams, I am day dreaming even sweeter dreams then that…. So happy that I fear it may get jinxed.

But it all gave out a wrong message to someone it was not directed to…the talk was general, deliberately keeping someone safe in my heart… keeping out of the range of gossipers.

But when is someone going to really trust me? What my wildest guess can be is that someone’s been hurt and now it will take time for him to trust another person. I know, it will take time …. for everything to settle… all this roller coaster kinda  time will settle. And when it will finally settle, the trust, faith and belief will be unbreakable.

For me here, patience is the key. It is a natural thing to go through different mood swings in the absence of someone who you wish was right here with you. Negativity, fears, superstition scares me and one word coming from a third person can easily fill me with doubt or at least give me a “doubt tip”. 

Here is a tricky situation. It’s tricky because it is new for us. So if you know you are surrounded by people who need to see you down… they may try anything… but you have to be wiser, smarter, and stronger than them to kill their every move as well as keep your mind from getting scary, crazy thoughts that cook up… thinking only this;

Out of all the options, avoid doubting the loyalty or love of the other person. You have to have an understanding approach.

We value each other too much to even go near the thought of losing.

We are holding each other’s hand and giving and getting the strength, we know we are there for each other. If you have a doubt, give a shout out.

So basically, I wanted karma to work for me so that things remain goody good. So, I thought I might surprise my sister with a birthday present and started designing her outfit. But while you think you are sure about something, things take a u turn getting you back to point zero. The process of building should be sustainable. But for me it is…

Begin, Again 😦


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