One of the good things in a western, humane society is that people respect personal space and privacy. They know their limits.There is a great deal of learning to be done in societies like ours to know our limits and the fact that if you are an educated, civilized being you must know how to draw the line for the other and yourself.
Well, violators can give it two hoots to the line, drawing, privacy blah blah…but it is, as an individual of high moral standards, your duty to shoo away anyone who dares to cross it.
There is a line. Like it or not, see it or not, there always is…the personal discretion to allow someone step on it or not is in your hands. The other person must know that it is personal!
The easiest preys to this violation are ones you have close bonds with. Parents, siblings and friends fall under this category. It is a great feeling, to know how many people are concerned about you and take your issues to the heart. But what they forget sometimes is that they need to know where to stop! Your challenge is how to let them know without this becoming an issue.
Ex: In close friendships for example, you literally pour yourself out in front of the other person, so as to get some clarity in matters of concern. But, you forget that by having a candid conversation, every one should not get a free pass (or a bitch pass). For one, they’ll not only have an unwanted opinion, they’d also make attempts to let you know.
As it is said that the worst advice is the one not asked for. An opinion must be detested if it is shoved on you.
Have we ever thought that our friend is someone we can talk to and discuss his issues as long as it is only about him and is said to him? but being in a third person’s place the other person might not acknowledge us the same way.
The whole situation of crossing personal limits is more in joint family system that the east feels so proud of. There are great deal of advantages to it, but the biggest flaw is that it restricts personal growth since you are always looking towards other people to take care of your matters.It is one thing to help and another to run the whole show.
What we forget in our passion and great concern for other’s well being sometimes is that, a man needs word of advice or your take on it and not that you start calling the shots.
I think, we should consider ourselves as adults. Good or bad, we must take our own decisions and take a risk to things we have to take in life to take charge of it and ourselves. Spoon feeding looks charming till it relates to a 3 year old. After that the moms and mom figures should know that the other person can think, feel, decide on his own and we can keep our distorted experiences away from them and never cloud them with it so all they could see was how a situation can be taken as worst case scenario, just because you had to go through it.
Not everyone is the same. Not that every situation may have to turn the same way. Yes, similarities may be there but how one deals with it is unique as everyone is unique. But if you’d shadow it with your worst case scenarios, you may block and may turn an otherwise not so bad situation into a worst kind.
The stories of what others went through should just be taken as stories. You can keep it in mind to safeguard your life but you can’t pull it over your head and dread it so much it actually starts happening.
People have pathetic lives because of the way they dealt with it. But had they dealt with it in a better way, chances were rosy for them too. Then they come and tell you the same and unconsciously you start to dread it too.
As it is said, ‘to each his own’, every individual handles life his/her way. If you think there is a way to trick life in such a way that there won’t be any hang ups, bad experiences, mistakes that may leave you with no regrets…think again!!!
On a rather dull note, people who don’t know what their limits are and where they step way out of it is sad. And it is down right pathetic if you’d expect someone to act in a better way than others.
But our society allows it. Just like a cult setup, It allows you to make every possible effort to keep every person tread on their specified lines. To choose what they want you to choose, to say yes to things they approve and insinuate in you the thought that only right way is theirs. They would go down to the depths of filth and cross any and every limit to make sure, you are on their path. And doing all that is all right. For them it is just about, what ever it takes.
My personal experience in this regard is that, they really don’t care about you. They care for the greater good…which is to keep the society’s rotten norms intact. The society has made its own justifications and stubborn as they can be, they won’t warm up to ideas or ways that are unheard of.The years of your life may go down the drain but it has to be their way or no way at all.
People talk. That is what they do! like it is their job. You do it their way or your way, they will talk either way. What you must know is that you have personal rights that allow you to do things without being labelled as selfish.
It is the job of your audience to laugh, clap, mock or dislike considering how they see the show. But, it does not mean that is how the show was 🙂
Have the courage today to stand up and say it out loud if it fits right: Non of your business!! 😉