People often tend to see the faults in a given scenario,in people and places & things, because they are always comparing it up against the norm. Since norms are defined by a collective, it has a rule of thumb…the very basic, generalized scenario that could fit them all….or most of them.
If Allah has created each with a unique face and face is your identity hence your identity or self being unique, how can you say that the inside of every person would be the same?
Based on this, I always gave me and people another chance as and when I failed… I failed in keeping myself happy, I failed in keeping up with other’s expectations, I failed to be obedient, I failed in being successful and in achieving my goals. I have failed even after trying my level best. I just tried one more time.
Failure could never kill me. I always thought of it as “that one thing gone wrong” and moved on with a lesson which I hoped I won’t EVER repeat. I gave myself another chance and others a chance to what they really want from life. I thought that’s only fair.
I may have not been good at this but I have got to be good at something else. All there is, is to find out that thing that I could excel in to shape up my life for a better tomorrow.
Success is relative. If there is no relation of efforts to a measure or scale to gauge how good or bad it was, there would not be success as an ultimate thing. It would only be something you did. Success measure makes it good effort or bad effort.
If there is no such thing as success or failure, we can say that we are content. Dissatisfaction is inversely proportional to success. So, if there is no measure of efforts, there is no success or failure and hence the feeling of remorse arising from dissatisfaction would not get you into a regretful state. Regrets in life are deadly. Since time passes away and amends not made in time go lame, it keeps filling your baggage, making it heavier and heavier. A retrospection gives you guilt. Guilt of not doing the right thing the first time. Guilt of not making the right move at the right time because your ego got bigger than you. And a mountain of mistakes upon mistakes make an irreversible and irreparable damage.
Go back to this lousy chain of events and pick a place where you should stop yourself.
FAILURE ——-MEASURE OF SUCCESS——DISSATISFACTION——REGRETS——TIME LOST——DUE TO EGO——GUILT.
All one needs to really control is one’s ego.
I think that people who are in search of goals and aims in life should always be alert of the path that they choose to tread on, the ways that they adopt to get their way and a clear sense of self understanding. Some might differ in opinion and have a contrary view to this philosophy. A contrary view might advocate to keep sticking to one path no matter what. I’d say, you must keep a path that takes you to the right place. If you have chosen your path right, there is no way that you’d end up at a wrong place, knowing that the best understanding of yourself lies with you. You have to see that a judgement call is made at every step of the way. By calling your best judgement, you can be successful all the time.
In a hypothetical perfect scenario, you know things inside out, and to the best of your knowledge, your criteria are spot on correct. Your introspection is most accurate and your judgments are prompt.
In the real world, you might falter at points more than one. You may lag at timeliness, you might be bias in introspection, your criteria could be according to your level of maturity, you didn’t know any better, you took things at face value or believed a pretentious, fake image.
One of the above, most of the above, few of the above may create a reality based scenario and you can take it as it is and deal with it to the best of your acumen.
Life is filled with problems. This world is full of pit holes. People are worst than a dirt bag. But, you can’t control how life should be painted for you…. you get what you get!…..you can’t fill all the pit holes…. you can’t avoid or stop the wrong ones to cross your path either.
But what you can control is not making it any worse. Self created pit holes, problems and bad people can and should be avoided. It is true, life will remain the same *itch you don’t want it to be, but that is something you get ready-made. But your goal like everyone else should be to lessen the burden or keep yourself from unnecessary burdens.
What you get in the end, is what you are destined for. If you failed, it was not for you to achieve. “You were not cut out for this!” That’s how I see it.
In a fool’s world or a dream world, ….“a wonderland”, there will always be “other nice things”…. if you cannot see it in real, make-believe in one! That will do for the time being 🙂