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My doctor asked me; “Does anyone in your family suffer from insanity?” I replied; “No. We all seem to enjoy it!” I guess seeing is believing!

What do you do with people who are following you?
Do you …..take them somewhere they’d regret!!!??? or forgive them?

If Marriage equality touches our hearts and affects our families, and the Defense of Marriage Act case presents the Supreme Court with a monumental opportunity to affirm our common humanity and our Constitution’s promises of liberty, equality and human dignity.
The question is; what happens when a woman is unduly forced for marriage in our society? What if she lives with the culprits and her offenders?

The question is; what happens when a woman is unduly forced for marriage?

Here are some of the findings on a burning issue of my life at present.

What you need to know about domestic violence RIGHT NOW…STAT!

Stop calling it domestic violence. It is “intimate” terrorism. Ruthlessly done for shameful number of times… here are the stories of the few recorded incidences…. there is never a record nor a fair estimate of the ones that go unrecorded, never files, pursued or sought after … shunted by the powerful, merciless authorities. May our souls rest in peace with the known and unknown sins and crimes.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/intimate-terrorism

The question is; what happens when a woman is unduly forced for marriage?

Marriage equality touches our hearts and affects our families, and the Defense of Marriage Act case presents the Supreme Court with a monumental opportunity to affirm our common humanity and our Constitution’s promises of liberty, equality and human dignity.

 

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/intimate-terrorism
The question is; what happens when a woman is unduly forced for marriage?

 

WAKE UP CALL TO PEOPLE WHO MAYBE SLEEP WALKING…People force others into marriage due to a range of factors such as preserving wealth and family reputation.

“Parents may have made a promise when the child was young and they feel they can’t let the other family down,” says Sue, from Central Manchester Women’s Aid.

“The victim’s parents may call them [their children] selfish and they are told they are bringing shame on the honour of the family.”

Many victims are subject to emotional blackmail and physical threats. A number of them may be forced to marry a member of their extended family, for example, a cousin.

ethics, motives and methods

What exactly is “forced Marriage”?

Forced marriage is a marriage in which one or both of the parties is married without his or her consent or against his or her will. A forced marriage differs from an arranged marriage, in which both parties consent to the assistance of their parents or a third party (such as a matchmaker) in identifying a spouse, although the difference between the two may be indistinct. The practice of forced marriage is still practiced in the parts of South Asia, East Asia and Africa and among immigrants to the West from these regions. Some scholars object to use of the term “forced marriage” because it invokes the consensual legitimating language of marriage (such as husband/wife) for an experience that is precisely the opposite.[1] A variety of alternatives exist, including forced conjugal association, and conjugal slavery.

 

http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_marriage

Men and Domestic Violence

 

Blackmailed and beaten, then forced to marry someone they do not love, or even know. It is an ordeal which is faced by thousands of women across the world every day. But now an investigation by BBC Look North has found that dozens of men in the north-east of England are facing the same fate. The men have all contacted the Derby-based charity Karma Nirvana, which helps victims of forced marriage and “honour”-based violence.
Asif, from Newcastle, was eight when he was taken to Pakistan for what he thought was a family holiday.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/8125180.stm

According to the law in developed and ‘civilized’ countries such as UK, the law means anyone convicted of trying to force someone into marriage could be jailed for up to two years.
These court injunctions will forbid families from actions such as taking people abroad for marriage, seizing passports or intimidating victims.
Penalties for breaching an order include up to two years’ imprisonment.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7747267.stm

On one hand, where the safeguard of human dignity and individual rights is cherished so much the other side of the story is quite bleak. The under developed, third world countries are ‘still’ trying to assure the implementation of laws that are written in the books and laws of constitution on which our state prevails. Om top of being a low life of a third world country, being a victim of gender bias has its own story that revolves around the feudal mindset that we fear and get pumped up by at the the same time.

What happens when the ‘weaker sex’ or the ‘finer sex’ as some might like to call it, tries to rebel from the tyranny of the authority?

By lodging a complaint the girl would get undue publicity and that would adversely affect her marriage prospect.
As the society stops blaming the victims we will see more people reporting against such crimes. And nothing can be more discouraging for an Indian/PAKI/DESI Street sexual criminal than finding their supporters (police, society, misogynists) being challenged.

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2012/10/08/by-lodging-a-complaint-the-girl-would-get-undue-publicity-and-that-would-adversely-affect-her-marriage-prospect/

She has been held captive by her parents ahead of a forced marriage, But how significant is the case of the 33-year-old trainee GP to the battle against forced marriages in Britain?

“What was heartening was to hear what was said in the Bangladesh court by the Supreme Court judge, who echoed what one would anticipate what a High Court judge would say here about the breach of human rights and the inappropriate actions of her parents,” she continues.

What it does is emphasise for victims that there is relief there for them and they must come forward.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7783351.stm

How a rebel is handled?

If you grow a spine and take a stand for yourself, what should you be expecting to face…from all around the world…left….right…and centre? “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE”.

Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, battering, family violence, is a pattern of behavior which involves the abuse by one against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage, cohabitation, dating or within the family.[1]

Domestic violence can take many forms, including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.[1][2]
Alcohol consumption[3] and mental illness[4] can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges in eliminating domestic violence. Awareness, perception, definition and documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country, and from era to era.
Domestic violence and abuse is not limited to obvious physical violence. Domestic violence can also mean endangerment, criminal coercion, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, trespassing, harassment, and stalking.[5]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

If we should go away with something today, this is what should engrave in our minds about domestic violence so we don’t misinterpret it and give undue levy. Do not misunderstand this concept. Do not let it happen to you twice.

Domestic violence can also mean endangerment, criminal coercion, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, trespassing, harassment, and stalking. 

Domestic violence can take many forms, including physical aggression or assault (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects, battery) emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.

Alcohol consumption[3] and mental illness[4] can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges in eliminating domestic violence.

Remember… You have “rights”.

How well you are aware of them and with how much strength and perseverance you take a stand for it and ask for it, demand it, claim it and finally get it depends on your personal struggle.

Every individual has rights. The right to choose. The right to breathe. The right to be. The right to say yes (consent). Your consent is a happiness that no one can deny. It is THAT obvious. Anything less is to be questioned and checked again.  The right to say No, without any pressure or force or thinking of unfavorable consequences. Life threatening tones, angry stares, undue influence to push or pull into or out of your faith and believe system, while you are not in agreement to it.

MAKE NO MISTAKE, Torture of a physical or emotional nature and especially sexual torture through hypnosis or otherwise used as scare tactics to become “Islamic” is an “UNISLAMIC” practice.

There are laws that defend your rights. Do not let anyone sabotage them or confiscate them.

“The struggle for equality can now be characterised as a time when African Americans and other minorities were moving towards a more just society.”

http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=20072\27\story_27-2-2007_pg13_5

New law saves 86 victims from forced marriages in Britain. But experts warn that the impetus behind the new legislation and police training on ‘honour’ killings is in danger of slowing…

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/new-law-saves-86-victims-from-forced-marriages-1825392.html

 

CIVIL RIGHTS IN PAKISTAN

But in Pakistan, the law of the street supersedes the laws of constitution. Justice is always delayed and often denied.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights_in_Pakistan

The founder of Pakistan Muhammad Ali Jinnah wanted Pakistan to be a moderate secular state blended with some Islamic values and principles. Nevertheless, Pakistan’s status as an Islamic Republic should not be confused or compared with other Islamic Republics in the region, such as the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Pakistan’s human rights situation is a complex one, as a result of the country’s diversity, large population, its status as a developing country and a sovereign,Islamic republic as well as an Islamic democracy with a mixture of both Islamic and colonial secular laws. The Constitution of Pakistan provides for fundamental rights, which include freedom of speechfreedom of thoughtfreedom of informationfreedom of religionfreedom of associationfreedom of the pressfreedom of assembly and the right to bear arms. These clauses are generally respected in practice. Clauses also provide for an independent Supreme Court, separation of executive and judiciary, an independent judiciary, independent Human Rights commission and freedom of movement within the country and abroad.

The Civil and Family laws are based on a human’s true nature. Here is what a marriage WITHOUT CONSENT may look like:

A voidable marriage

AN EYE OPENER:A voidable marriage (also called an avoidable marriage) is a marriage which can be canceled at the option of one of the parties. The marriage is valid but is subject to cancellation if contested in court by one of the parties to the marriage.

Common reasons that would make a marriage voidable include:
one of the parties being under the marriageable age
the marriage was induced by fraud
intoxication at the time of marriage so that the party was unable to understand the nature of the marital contract being entered into.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voidable_marriage

Apart from avoidable marriage,  voidable marriage is also a common practice among forced marriage cases.

A void marriage is a marriage which is unlawful or invalid under the laws of the jurisdiction where it is entered. A void marriage is “one that is void and invalid from its beginning. It is as though the marriage never existed and it requires no formality to terminate.”
A marriage, however, which can be canceled at the option of one of the parties is merely voidable, meaning it is subject to cancellation if contested in court. A marriage that is entered into in good faith, but which is subsequently found to be void, may be recognized as a putative marriage and the spouses as putative spouses, with certain rights granted by statute or common law, notwithstanding that the marriage itself is void.
In general, a marriage is void (as opposed to voidable) if:
The parties’ degree of consanguinity is too close – for example, a brother and sister or a parent and a child. Different jurisdictions have different lists of prohibited incestuous relationship.
A party to the marriage is forbidden to marry as a result of losing their civil rights, such as for conviction of a crime.
The form of the marriage is forbidden by statute – such as same-sex marriage or group marriage.
There is a pre-existing marriage by at least one of the parties, and the subsequent marriage may also constitute a crime of bigamy.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Void_marriage

 

THE POSSIBLE FAULT

 

 

There is a lack of awareness and empathy at the same time which turns people into barbaric, savages. They may “look” as normal as the next person but in reality, there is a vast difference between a man and a human.

One must always insist for a good human being as a life partner…just like we are quality conscious for everything that we consume and utilize….why do we make the “BIGGEST SACRIFICES” with the one we share the most valuable thing of us? i.e: our lives…. I believe it is better to know someone through and through before we take such a huge step.
I insist on the quality of a human being rather than the material benefits….since, material benefit, if available, are a surplus with the relationship… I insist on character, honesty, truthfulness, dignity, self respect and respect towards others. Care for other’s emotions, property and possessions. I STAND BY THE SAME VALUES I BELIEVED AS A YOUNG ADULT….this part of me won’t EVER change INSHALLAH!

Enjoy your own company. You may be surprised to know that sometimes you make the best conversations with yourself.

It is better to stay by yourself than be in a lousy/cheap company.  I fail to understand how can this philosophy be termed as a loud cry for “aaazaaadii” and not merely a right to claiming the “freedom of choice”.

What I notice and sadly put forward is that, women are not running away from marital bounds in today’s day and age, as they are mistakenly perceived. The call of the time is to be with a compatible partner who could at least stimulate the intellects. How can that be running away or denouncing the responsibilities??

There is no harm in being the main figure as “the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world” and the queen of your man’s heart!

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