A relationship can last a day and a half, a month and a half, a year and a half and it can even last a lifetime. So, it is a very common phenomenon to have a breakup and experience the following;
• Confusion resulting in confusing others.
• Depression.
• Anger.
• Emotional vulnerability.
• Feeling of loss or feeling less than other women. Low Self Esteem.
• Crying incessantly.
• Having a rebound relationship.
• Feeling like getting back with the person.
• Revenge.

According to my personal experience, women go through it all at the same time, one after another or some of them…it matters when they get help or start to help themselves. If they have a well built network of friends who know how to help a friend or to take them in the right direction, they get out of this phase way too quickly else the lag just gets dragged.
One thing women need to control is ego. If they don’t know how to control their egoistic drives, they will drive themselves off the hill.
The basic thing that one must do is to identify the phase they are going through correctly so as to take correct measures.
If for example they are depressed, it should not be taken as feeling like getting back with the person. And Anger must not be confused with revenge. And Vice versa.
You may need a friend who can console you, cheer you up, and get you back on your feet and in the game. You can also be your own friend to do so, but one has to be ‘very’ strong to be able to do this.
But it is advised not to take chances and find a friend who can walk the walk with you.
It is also inevitable that your ex will find or fall for another woman, will go out again, plan on getting married, and actually marries and raises a family. The time frame is fortunately or unfortunately not in your control… things happen in weeks, months and even take years.
So, sulking about it or blaming the other girl is obnoxious and silly…whatever you’ll do in jealousy and/or regret, there will come a time in your life that you’ll think back and count that as a mistake because if and when you’ll think about it, it will be obvious that you were not that mature back then to know that you didn’t handle things you were supposed to. And looking back, you will find that your actions caused you more damage than to anyone else.
You lost it. Get over it. For better or for worse, it’s over!
It is a human psyche that people need to feel safe with who they entrust their feelings. If a human, be it a man or a woman doesn’t feel safe with a person. It’s over for him/her.
So, when things go wrong, there is a certain time frame to amend things with the person. There is a fair chance of getting back together. The sooner the better…Getting back has its own stages as well because time lapse keeps causing damage to your relationship on its own.
• When you get back quickly, no damage takes place.
• When you get back after a short while, little damage takes place.
• medium time frame gets the feelings neutralized
• Whereas, passed that is the phase where resentment builds up till….
• You have timed it out, and now you must stamp it and go ahead in life.

After that, any negativity is only toxic for you….the other person will flee from there emotionally and all you will see is the person who is “not quite there anymore”.
They say that a relationship is like a plant. It goes through and grows like a plant turning into a strong tree, that eventually bears fruits, flowers and keeps you under its shade.

Recently single women are like a ticking bomb in the social scene…everyone knows that all she will talk about is her broken heart and bitch about her ex. You don’t want to be that woman. Keep your emotions personal and deal with them in solitary moments and try to make sense and reason it out to get closure, ‘on your own’!
When among friends, be normal cheery person that you always were. There are very few people who’ll genuinely be sympathetic…others will just hear you out for more gossip and will make more fuss about it.
Stay alert for anyone who shows interest in you when you are at your worst. No one likes someone at their worst. People only like to fly with the high fliers. It is best advised that to find a sincere relationship, wait till you are standing tall and standing strong!

Crying about a loss is healthy. You don’t need to bottle it up or else it will stay inside you forever and become corrosive. Cry it all out and get rid of it. This is not the time to stay strong!

The only way to handle low self esteem is to keep doing the normal things…take a moment alone, gather yourself and carry on. If you’ll quit doing stuff, routine or new, it will only get worse. If you can gather up enough courage to start something new like a hobby or take up on an interest that you always wanted to do will work wonders for your lost or bruised self esteem.

Feeling like getting back with the person is the worst, desperate and humiliating idea for any woman. It makes you beg like a dog and get kicked like a dog. Stay away from e-mails, phone text messages or any other ways of communications you may have with your ex. Get as far away from those things as you can. Remember, not just to him, it will be a favor to you as well.
One of the awkward scenes is when you have mutual friends/ gatherings. Avoid them till you are strong enough to face your ex or till you are completely over. Don’t try to be that woman who thinks about making him jealous by, “oh! Look at me now and see what you lost” !!!!
Chances are, he must’ve found someone better and will laugh at your stupidities!

So, girls… life isn’t easy. Relationships are never simple. But, you have to do your best and be at your best….rest is your fate, chances and total and utter Luck!
Let the odds always be with you!


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